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New ways of dealing with worry

It is a rare person who can truly say that they don’t worry.
Most of us recognise the distracting thoughts, the what if this and what if that happens scenario
The unpleasant thoughts that nothing will be the same again.
However most of the time worry serves no useful function. It only serves to steal our energy and tends to paralyse us from taking the action that would help.

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So worry only leads to emotional upset. We put off taking appropriate decisions or action to solve our problems. The body becomes affected with headaches, muscular pains and stomach problems. Worry takes over and we get locked into a worry cycle that stops us from just getting on with life. When we worry it has an impact on our quality of life and of those around us we need to take action. Taking action or controlling the situation where possible is empowering. Change your perception of the problem, use different and more positive language to yourself to describe the problem. Let it become a concern or a challenge that needs resolving not saying to yourself that you are helpless or worried sick. Make positive changes and do things that you have been promising yourself for a long time. Make them happen and you change your mood and your perception of the worry as well.

Restrict the time you allow worry. Say STOP to yourself if you find that you are worrying too much. Have a REALITY CHECK. Ask yourself how likely is it that this worry will materialise in the way you imagine. Most times it is very unlikely. Decide that if the worst should happen how you would deal with it.

TAKE ACTION. By taking control or action is the solution. It is not only the helpful and practical approach; it lowers your anxiety levels further aiding your resolve to solve the problem.

Remember you are only powerless if you allow yourself to be so.

What is it that you expect in your life? Do you go for the good things, a positive outlook, or its reverse, only expecting the worst – a negative outlook? Do you feel you don’t measure up, comparing yourself to other people? The more the negative thoughts, the more you allow ‘self- sabotaging’, ensuring that you actually stop yourself from achieving better things.

Let me give you an example. Just for a moment, I would like you to think about eating a delicious piece of your favourite chocolate. Really think about it and notice what happens. Most people will notice that their mouth starts watering. Your body is reacting to the thought of the chocolate. So it follows that any type of thought process evokes a physical response. So what tends to happen is that with every negative thought you mind body connection results in a physical response that prevents you even attempting things.

The most important thing you can gain from reading this is an understanding of the mind body connection. We can achieve what we want to achieve. We can be who we want to be. The only proviso is we need to want it enough. There is no such thing as instant gratification – good things need effort and commitment. The many people that I see have made their decisions. The either want to:

feel better

feel less stressed/anxious

stop being depressed

be more confident

stop drinking

lose weight

stop smoking

etc

All these people have one thing in common – they have decided that they want to improve aspects of their life and are prepared to achieve their goals.

Some people are so entrenched in their own personal negative attitudes that it is difficult to take the first step and come to see me. However, once overcome, they learn that they are capable of so much more. They just have to want to. They allow change and they allow personal growth and progress.

So remember, if you know that you need more but keep putting the decision off, think about the chocolate evoking its physical response. So don’t delay. Don’t procrastinate, call me today and let me help you achieve what you need.

Anxiety attacks affect people in various ways. Some say they feel lost, desperate and more frightened than they have ever felt before. Also they experience the physical symptoms of a racing heart, sweaty hands, and tightness of the chest and a feeling of sickness. Combined with the psychological feelings of paranoia and a detached feeling of mentally floating, this is a truly unpleasant feeling all round.

Anxiety is usually triggered by specific situations, whether it be facing up to relationship issues, socialising or involving work, it can affect any part of our lives. This means that people will do what they can to avoid those situations. This is not a solution as it can infringe on their day-to-day functions and ultimately lead to a poorer standard of living than they would like, and in some cases make the anxiety worse if they come into anyone of those situations that cannot be avoided.

Trying to control anxiety consciously can be extremely difficult and can often end up making matters worse. If people focus on their symptoms consciously it can serve to amplify those symptoms, rather like pouring petrol on a fire. This means that by trying to think yourself out of an anxiety attack you can start a vicious circle which will only serve to increase the symptoms.

Using Cognitive Hypnotherapy, NLP and EFT is a very effective way to treat these symptoms. This is because with all three disciplines we are working with the unconscious mind, the back of the mind. This is the part where all memories are stored, our beliefs and all of our learned responses, and that is where the whole problem of anxiety attacks lies somewhere deeply embedded in the back of the mind.

With Advanced Hypnotherapy, NLP and EFT we will work on the unconscious mind to find out what the triggers are to start the anxiety and take out the emotion from the back of the mind. When an alternative state has been achieved you will have various tools available to you so that you can get back in control of your life as you want it. Knowing that those old triggers that set off the anxiety have been dealt with once and for all, you will be able to enjoy life to the full without being fearful and you will feel more confident.

 

Poor sleep has a huge impact on our life and general good health. It makes us feel exhausted unable to think clearly, and takes away the ability to function at our best on a daily basis.

Everyone has the odd period when we find it hard to get to sleep or stay asleep and this usually coincides with stress or worries and in many cases this resolves and normal sleep habits resume. When this is not the case and sleep problems become more regular we use a different term INSOMNIA.

There are different types of insomnia and in order to deal with them it first has to be ascertained what type you are suffering from.

What causes insomnia? Well each person is different in this respect but there are common factors.

There can be a family history.

You may be more affected by stress and anxiety or depression.

There really are so many areas that can contribute but generally significant changes in what’s happening in your life whether good or not so good can be triggers.

The most common cause is the habit of poor sleep becoming a vicious circle where the worry associated with it becomes enough to make it worse therefore the cycle of WORRY about not sleeping becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Hypnosis can help by firstly getting to the cause of insomnia and help break the vicious circle. It also does not involve medication which can be problematic in itself.

It also is able to help with the psychological reasons that affect sleep such as racing thoughts, habitual behaviours or unresolved emotion that all fuel that cycle.

When people come to me to stop smoking, my first question to them is ‘do you really want to stop?’. Because if they don’t, then it is unlikely that anything, including hypnosis, will help. It has to be something they really want to do for themselves, not for their partners, parents, employers etc.

Smokers are addicts – they are addicted to nicotine and if that was not enough, they have got into the habit of smoking and that in itself can be as difficult as the addition to nicotine to deal with.  

My next question is ‘what does smoking do for you’. The answers generally include ‘it helps me to relax’ or ‘it helps me to concentrate’, ‘it calms me down’, ‘it gives me something to do with my hands’ or ‘I feel more confident with a cigarette’. I have not yet heard any of the following: ‘It makes me smell good’ ‘It makes me healthier’ or ‘I will live longer’, ‘I really need to get rid of this money so I buy cigarettes, to stop me buying useful things that matter’

Hypnosis has been proven to be the most successful way to stop smoking permanently. In my experience, my success rate is in the area of 80%. How does it work? I use strategies to help the smoker relax (hypnosis is a very deep form of relaxation) into such a deep state that smokers no longer think with their conscious mind which puts up all the barriers to stopping smoking. Hypnosis allows them to begin to work with the subconscious mind which is open to change, as long as previously mentioned that the patient really wants to stop. The subconscious is then re-educated through the means of suggestion, visualisation and affirmation to break the old negative desire/habit of the perceived pleasure of smoking and redirecting the subconscious into the benefits of the more positive lifestyle and health issues by allowing the smoker to stop.

There are no side effects using hypnosis to stop smoking – indeed the withdrawal symptoms are significantly reduced.  It is highly successful and is a pleasant, safe and relaxing experience.  It allows for the root causes for smoking to be changed in the subconscious mind which then flows into the conscious mind.

I do not believe that the one session system to stop smoking is effective. If you went to the Doctor with an addition to a chemical substance, he would not take you off immediately. It is too much of a shock to the body. Instead it would be tapered off gently over a period of several weeks. I generally find that it averages four hour long sessions over a period of 4-6 weeks that produce the most consistent success rates.

Irritable Bowel Syndrome is a distressing and embarrassing condition and the precise cause and treatment is a subject that has been centre of much debate.

Doctors are not really sure what causes IBS. It would appear that in people who suffer, the nerves and the muscles in the bowel are more sensitive causing the muscles to contract too much when eating. The effects of this can include cramping, bloating, diarrhoea, or constipation. Sufferers of this condition can become distraught when told that they have to “learn to live with it”. It is important to consult your doctor and have other health problems discounted, rather than assume that you suffer from IBS.  

Once diagnosed, there are several things that can be done to help relieve the symptoms.  

Firstly the severity of symptoms is acknowledged to be highly reactive to stress. The known and accepted antidote to stress is deep and regular relaxation, as can be experienced in hypnosis.

Secondly, diet changes – experimenting with foods that you tolerate better. Fatty food, dairy products such as cheese, alcohol, drinks containing caffeine, etc can cause the symptoms to be more acute.

It is a good idea to keep a diary to track what you eat and the effects of different foods. If you find certain goods set off an attack, eat less of them, or if possible, avoid.

Good foods to introduce include fruit, vegetables, breads and cereals. If your diet is low in fibre, only add it to your diet a little at a time, in order for your body to get used to it. Too much fibre can trigger an attack in a person with IBS. It is possible that your doctor may prescribe antispasmodics or even a very low dose of antidepressant to help with symptoms. Whilst stress does not cause IBS, it is a major factor in making the symptoms worse. It is very important to learn how to reduce stress and in turn make it easier to manage the symptoms.

This is the time of year when I get lots of calls regarding this problem. The usual conversation starts with ‘I am due to go on holiday soon and I cannot face it. I am so afraid. Can you help me – the thought of flying ruins it for me and the effect it has on my family and friends.’

All phobias, for indeed this is what a fear of flying is, are due to irrational thoughts and excess anxiety about the area of concern. But, phobias are just intense fears over something that poses little or no danger. So it is important to get a real perspective and understand that it is the focusing and the anxiety about flying that is most distressing.

The phobia and the thoughts around it is partly due to you misusing your imagination. In the same way that you learn to use your imagination in a negative way, you can relearn in a positive way. There can also be other aspects that are not really about flying, such as feelings of loss of control, fear of heights, mild claustrophobia etc.

Feelings about flying may have become a pattern from previous flight experience, perhaps it was turbulence or some other aspect that you found worrying, or back to that misusing your imagination, worrying about the ‘what if this’ or ‘what if that’.

Fear of flying is very common and responds very well to hypnosis in order to resolve this unnecessary problem. People who are not relaxed on planes generally build up the worry and anxiety a long time before the actual flight and the more that occurs, the worse the actual experience becomes.

It is vital to become more relaxed around the idea of flying, even learn to enjoy the experience. Hypnosis can help you to do this and enable you to look forward to your next flight in comfort.